Do you practice mindfulness in every day life?
Trans Latina TikTok Creator Jools Lebron recently created a new viral meme while exploring professional makeup looks for work. In the now viral clip, Jools went on to explore how she goes about navigating her makeup in the workplace, opting for a more toned-down, or demure, look for a job.
As you might have gathered by this point, I’m not the most tapped into online culture, but every once and while something strikes such a nerve online that it invades even the relatively little time I check social media in a given day. There’s no judgement from me if life online is your thing, but spending less time online is better for my mental health and sensitive heart. As much good as there is on the internet, there’s a lot of sensationalism, ignorance and bigotry.
Not very cutesy. Not very mindful.
Being Mindful and Social Location
So what is Lebron’s video really about? It’s interesting as on one hand it brings to light the kind of social politic that people of color, especially trans women of color, have to navigate in order to be seen as acceptable in the workplace and in public. What Lebron is (maybe unintentionally) exploring is social location (and how people view you socially because of your gender, race, class, etc.) and the importance of being appropriate in a work context. Most workplaces encourage, or even require, a relatively “demure” gender performance for women, particularly women of trans experience.
Women are constantly surveilled in many areas of life, particularly in the workplace.
In particular, trans women of color are often underemployed and experience incredibly hostility at work and in other areas of public life. Trans Women and Femmes of Color at Work, from Barnard Center for Research on Women, highlights these challenges, and points of progress trans women face at work. If you’re not familiar with how trans women are made to survive and navigate work life, it’s an illuminating read.
As someone who has cared for, and supported, trans folks throughout my life and career, I’ve been privileged to hear many stories of what it means to navigate life as a trans person. Given the ongoing plethora of anti-trans rhetoric in this country, we can all do a lot better to be more informed about the real life impact of socially regressive policies. Sadly, these policies impact the mental health and the life of trans folks and families across our country.
In my opinion, Lebron’s video isn’t just about someone finding security in their identity and expression, it’s also about understanding the reality of social location and living in context. While I have little to no interest in respectability politics, it is also important to understand what certain environments deem acceptable and standard. I firmly believe that everyone has the right the exist in all spaces in our society. I can believe this and hold the reality that it also doesn’t mean that the same way you act, or dress, at home is the same way you act at work, and so on. We adjust depending on our context, and to some extent, that’s valid and normal.
How we are, in community, impacts our community.
Navigating The “I” and the “We”
What I find interesting about Lebron’s video is that it introduces a reminder of mindfulness as not just a singular pursuit for self-care, but also as an avenue to exist within community. It’s important to be mindful about how you’d like to show up in spaces, and how each space hopes you show up even if you ultimately choose to challenge that standard in some way. Which, I think we should challenge norms often, especially as it relates to coping with limiting gender and racial stereotyping.
A lot of wellness culture, and online culture, centers on the idea of “I” and what “I” want. At the same time we are inherently social creatures. How do we create balance between the self and the other? We live and work in space alongside others. We wish to actively participate in said spaces. We want to be good citizens, while being ourselves as much as we can simultaneously.
It’s not an easy balance to find.
This encourages us to be thoughtful, and mindful, about how we exist in the spaces we inhabit. Consider this idea of showing up more mindfully in everyday life. How would your day change if you were more mindful about how you navigate your workplace? What about how you engage in your relationships?
Most of us would not necessarily be more demure per se, but probably a lot kinder, and more compassionate. Once we move with more intention, our entire being changes. How we move and speak then comes from a deeper, more mindful space, rather than a space of impulsiveness and reactivity.
How might living more mindfully contribute to a more peaceful experience for us all? I wonder.
Don’t we owe it to not only ourselves, but to others, to try and hold their experiences and feelings with the same tenderness and respect we wished someone would hold our own?
Mindfulness is not just about “I” or you (or me) for that matter. It’s also about the “we.” Mindfulness is about the version of the self that exists within the social environment. Being more mindful positively impacts the choices, actions, and motivations it takes to be a good citizen in the world.
Mindfulness is what it takes to be thoughtful and kind. Mindful awareness is what it means to be aware that we are not solely in a world of our own, but a part of a larger collective - all on a similar journey to navigate life with some sense of grace, ease, and satisfaction.
I like that.
Very mindful.