Hello and welcome to my newsletter! I’m Jor-El and I’m a therapist and author of The Shadow Work Workbook and Self-Care for Black Men. I’m here to share my perspectives on life, mental health, and self-compassion. Thanks for being here!
It seems that you can’t go anywhere online without running into a mental health expert or life coach. Therapy speak runs the risk of damaging our relationships (not everyone that makes you feel bad is a narcissist, after all) and changing how we view our own mental health. This means we need to be very careful about mindfully consuming mental health content online.
A recent conversation in the therapy room inspired me to reflect on my thoughts further, as a mental health provider who shares content online.
Proceed with Caution!
It’s important to be cautious, maybe even skeptical, about mental health information you encounter online. One of my go-to lines to share with clients is, “first and foremost, make sure this person has some credentials if you’re taking their advice.”
Ideally this means taking mental health information from a licensed professional. But, let’s be honest, mental health professionals don’t tend to have the most engaging content. I think this is part of the problem. As a general rule, people who spend most of their time doing the work of therapy aren’t great marketers (and graphic designers, etc.). There are, of course, exceptions to the rule. It’s ironic given that the field of marketing is basically a manipulation of psychological principles solely for profit, but we’ll save that soapbox for another day. After all, it is OK to market your services and expertise.
The challenge lies in the fact that there are a lot of other people who are great at marketing. But, they may not have the expertise or background to recognize the challenges with the information they’re sharing.
I recommend that clients often look for credentials as that ensures a basic standard of conduct. Most professionals have some code of ethics that guides their work and content shared online. That being said, plenty of us lose sight of the complexity of mental health content, and instead opt for the pithy hot take that we know is going to get good engagement. And when it comes to being online, with engagement almost lower than ever, the desire to create to the audience rather than actually for the audience, is very tempting.
The point is, be mindful of the who you get content from. People speaking about their experience is one thing. It’s another thing altogether to suggest that your path to mental health should be everyone’s path. I’ve seen more clients than I’d like bring some hot take into the therapy room that actually doesn’t apply, or work, for them. This can actually have very serious negative implications for their mental health. It’s pretty painful to think you’ve finally found your answer online, only to have it fail for you.
Be careful and be mindful.
Don’t Just Consume The Content, Be In it
Let’s say you’ve found what seems like a reputable source of mental health content. Their perspectives seem balanced and healthy. You find yourself saving their content and sending it via DM to friends. Great, now what?
This is where things get a bit harder.
Unfortunately, part of the nature of online content is that it’s so readily available and easy. This means that we can consume helpful mental health content easily, but actually do nothing with it. Even worse, we can consume the content and THINK that we’ve done something to better our mental health just by consuming it. There’s benefit to just internalizing helpful messages online, but applying it to your life is a horse of a different color.
I recently encouraged a client to try and “be in” the content they found online, rather than just consuming it. What does this mean? I think of this in a few ways:
Take your time with it: This means stopping the endless scrolling and pausing when you come across content that resonates. Before you scroll or swipe to the next thing, sit with the post or video. Re-read or re-watch it and let it absorb a bit more. Take your time.
Go internal: Once you give the post a bit more space take a moment to actually ask yourself, “How is this hitting me right now? What am I feeling in this moment?” And then, wait for the answer.
How does it apply?: Once you have some understanding how you’re feeling about the content, then think about your real life circumstances and the content’s relevance to your life. Is it making you rethink a behavior you do in relationships? Does it challenge your long held beliefs about how you see yourself? Think how it applies, not just in a general sense for other people, but for you as an individual.
Decide, then plan: After all that is said and done take a minute to figure out what you think you should do about this revelation. Work to create a plan to implement change in your real life. Plan to try out that coping strategy in the next week. Email your therapist that it’s a topic you’d like to talk about in your next session. Bring the post to your next friend meet up and explore it with your closest friends. Do something with it.
Does that sound like a lot of work? Probably. The rub is that personal development is really hard work. It often doesn’t feel great. Ultimately, it’s worth it when you arrive to a new understanding you can be truly proud of.
After all, isn’t that the point of engaging with the content in the first place…for it to truly help you better your life and mental health?
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If you like my writing and approach to mental health, then you’ll probably enjoy my books. The Shadow Work Workbook: Self-Care Exercises for Healing Your Trauma and Exploring Your Hidden Self and Self-Care for Black Men: 100 Ways to Heal and Liberate are both available at a bookstore near you. You can also purchase a copy of both at the link below.
Thanks for reading!