A Day in the Life: What I Do for a Self-Care Day
Hello and welcome to my newsletter! I’m Jor-El and I’m a therapist and author of The Shadow Work Workbook and Self-Care for Black Men, which is now available in stores. I’m here to share my perspectives on life, mental health, and self-compassion. Thanks for being here!
Last week my latest book, Self-Care for Black Men hit shelves and I took it as a sign to put some extra effort in to practice what I preach.
It’s been a while since I had an official day off and thought that the occasion presented an opportunity to slow down and practice some self-care. Today, I’m sharing a bit about what my self-care day looked like.
Starting the Day off Slow
After working out the day before, I was able to start the day quite easily. After picking up a coffee from my local coffee shop and having breakfast, I spent the rest of the morning catching up on some morning news. From there, I took one brief work-related call before heading to a long-overdue eye exam appointment.
Since COVID entered all of our lives, I’ve transitioned to fully remote work and I certainly feel the strain on my eyes. I wear blue light glasses to help protect them, but I’m sure that’s not enough. I also fail miserably at doing the 20-20-20 rule that optometrists might recommend.
After leaving the eye doctor, I went to grab a quick lunch in NYC’s underground market Turnstyle at Columbus Circle. After a small battle with indecision I ended up getting a k-dog and having a brief lunch outside.
Following my quick bite, I visited a new spa for a massage. Recently, I’ve been acutely aware of the tension I hold in my body as I’ve been dealing with some aches and pains. With sitting most of the day and exercising regularly I know that my body has been needing some extra tlc that moderate stretching doesn’t quite get at.
I arrived a few minutes early to my massage appointment at a new-to-me spot in my neighborhood. It’s always a bit unnerving to go to a new massage therapist, who doesn’t know you, or what works for your body. Pre-COVID I had a regular guy who did home visits, but I wasn’t even sure that he still worked for the service I hired back then. Nonetheless, I know that body work can be incredibly therapeutic: it helps ring out the muscles and helps boost immunity too (all things I talk about in my book).
While I didn’t know what to expect from this new therapist, I ended up getting one of the best massages I’ve ever had (and for the least amount of money I’ve ever spent for a massage). This bulldog of a man was the strongest masseuse I’ve ever been to and I certainly felt the soreness for days after. I felt the tension I had been holding float away without another thought.
It was a great choice for my self-care day.
After my very tough yet relaxing massage, I took a leisurely stroll to check mail at the post office and headed to Target in the hopes of seeing Self-Care for Black Men on the shelf. After a good 15 minutes of searching, I finally asked an associate for their book section and realized that my local store was one that didn’t have anything but a few unmarked journals and notebooks for purchase. Sad horn. There were no actual books. My hopes of seeing my book on a Target shelf were dashed. I was disappointed to say the least. But as with any good Target run, I made the most of it and bought some other must-have items and made my way to pick up a special treat to round out my errands for the day.
A few weeks ago, while spending too much time online, I saw an advertisement for a new cake from Paris Baguette, which is a popular bakery chain in the New York area. It somehow manages to be a Korean Parisian influenced bakery, yet it doesn’t quite feel like it’s actually either of the two fully. Nonetheless, I kept seeing an advertisement for one of their new cake concoctions and figured that publication day would be as good a time as any to indulge. It turned out to be nice treat, but didn’t quite hit the spot.
Self-Care Can Be Both Practical and Joyful
More than any single thing I did that day, what’s most important is that I took some time to honor my own need for a break. It also provided me the opportunity to be a bit more present with the milestone of publishing my second book and putting it out in the world.
This self-care day turned to be a little bit of everything - very basic health care things that I had been dragging my feet on, and just taking time to enjoy the day and eat some yummy food.
Hopefully, this inspires you to craft your own self-care day and find what works best for you.